After a series of gaffs from our “Primest Minister” I thought I was finally hearing some common sense from the government. Mr Cameron was in town and I haven’t seen him this passionate since he sold his party principles down the river for the keys to number 10. He is hopping mad this week and genuinely so by all accounts. It seems he has had enough of people who are sponging off our society. How refreshing it was to find out that he was really going to deal with these leaches. I nearly jumped on the nearest National express, pitchfork in hand and headed down the smoke to join him.
Addressing an audience in Manchester, he said: "We've got to reduce the budget deficit. We've also got to fund welfare for those people who really need it.”
Hear Hear! I screamed. Convinced he had finally heard the news last week that Britain's five largest banks reported financial results that showed they had made combined pre-tax profits of £15bn in the first six months of the year. I should coco…
Damn right he is too, I though. It’s about time someone got tough with those bankers at last. All that stuff about political parties pandering to the mega rich is nonsense
He said the country needed to regain the sense that claiming benefits you were not entitled to was "morally wrong".
Brilliant.. Priceless
But wait…
"There are some people who are claiming welfare who are not entitled to it and that is just wrong and that should stop.” he continued
He said the £1.5bn a year fraud was enough to pay for 40,000 NHS nurses, and cutting fraud, error and waste in the benefits system was the "first thing" the government ought to do as it cuts spending.
Hang on a minute, benefit fraud? Attacking the doleys? 1.5 billion?
Surely there’s no need to worry too much about doleys now that we the taxpayers have stumbled upon a brilliant business opportunity. As a result of the fraud and greed of the banking industry we have all found ourselves in the banking business. Ok, it was not by choice but hang on everyone… We are here now and maybe we have stumbled onto something. If these figures are right then it seems we will be on the gravy train for life. If only the government would stop worrying about getting out of the banking business and think about staying in it we can all have two nurses each when we go in hospital, who knows even our own consultant.
With RBS reporting half-year profits of 1.6 billion and we own 45 billion pounds worth of it maybe now is the time for us all to stop and think this through.
Why the hell are we asking about selling our shares? Lets buy more, in fact we could start our own peoples bank. It could lend money to small businesses and create jobs which would mean less people on benefits and more people paying taxes. It could compete with the other banks for business and the taxpayer could rake in the profits. What the hell it could even pay out a few bonuses once in a while. In fact we could use it to train more talent with apprenticeships in how to wrap up bad debts in cardboard boxes and sell them to each other and get a commission even though you never opened it to see what’s inside. It would be the same as the national money go round we have now except the money would not disappear into the well lined pockets of corporate investment bankers. It would go back to the bottom and start again. Who cares about the doleys then if they want to sit around on benefits then let em. It just leaves more nurses for the rest of us eh.
