The cynics wife theory

Surely if I want to do good things I can find support in my community? Maybe keep a hospital open or save some green belt land? If I try I can get people to come out to support me?
But If I want to do bad things like say polute the environment by building another runway or destroy some green belt by building a huge supermarket? Maybe buy a few more bombs? Well its going to be hard to get people out on the streets then and as a result hard to do bad things.
I still need influence though and because theres few of them they will have to be powerful decision makers.
The best influence to have is of course political. They make the decisions and send in the bulldozers after the so called enquiry has confirmed its a bad thing I want to do. They can even sign the cheques to help me buy the bombs. So the best way to get influence is to buy it and go to the right dinners and meet the right people. Therefore I become a political donor in order to build, polute or deprive in whatever form I choose. This is relatively easy with a party system of politics because they are a team and stick together from the top down.

Hence the Cynics Wife law of politics says that

"The party system by its nature demands that we have leades who work against our wishes"

DO NOT VOTE!

Friday, 14 March 2008

The John Lewis Account

If you didn't have your pitchforks at the ready from the latest round of revelations you will now. Since MP's and the speaker were caught with their hands in the till recently they chose to discuss the matter inanely until it went away. Instead of talking about the crime that was committed they prefer to talk about the law itself.
Now its been revealed that we may get to see all their claims from 2004... Makes you wonder what went on in 2003 eh? Before the shock of that and before you light those torches one MP said "we are being made to feel like crooks" that's because you are. (writs to the usual address and see you in court)
Its now been revealed that the honourable gentleman can claim up to 23,000 quid on a whole range of luxury goods. But there is a simple solution of course and technology has the answer how about just employing a department to upload the whole lot to web pages for perusal by their bosses at any time. By bosses I mean you and me of course and while they are at it why not also put all the party donations on there you too, you could even put links to their business interests to. It would be a system to be proud of and for a fraction of the cost of an MP's second home. In fact I will email the PM right away and see what he thinks.

If you can be bothered here's the highlights of the list, maybe you could print it off and use it to light your torch before we storm Westminster (After getting an appointment of course)

Air conditioning unit - £299.99
Bed - £1,000.00
Bookcase/cabinet - £500.00
Carpet - £35.00 per square metre
Carpet fitting - £6.50 per square metre
Dining table - £600.00
Dishwasher - £375.00
Drawer chest (five) - £500.00
Dressing table - £500.00
Dry cleaning - both personal and household [items] are allowable within reasonable limits
Food mixer - £200.00
Freestanding mirror - £300.00
Fridge/freezer combi - £550.00
Gas cooker - £650.00
Hi-fi/stereo - £750.00
Installation of new bathroom - £6,335.00
Installation of new kitchen - £10,000.00
Lamp table - £200.00
Nest of tables - £200.00
Recordable DVD - £270.00
Rugs (each) - £300.00
Shredder - £50.00
Sideboard - £795.00
Suite of furniture - £2,000.00
Television set - £750.00
Tumble dryer - £250.00
Underlay (basic) - £6.99 per square metre
Wardrobe - £700.00
Washer dryer - £500.00
Washing machine - £350.00
Wooden flooring/carpets - £35.00 per square metre
Workstation - £150.00
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