The cynics wife theory

Surely if I want to do good things I can find support in my community? Maybe keep a hospital open or save some green belt land? If I try I can get people to come out to support me?
But If I want to do bad things like say polute the environment by building another runway or destroy some green belt by building a huge supermarket? Maybe buy a few more bombs? Well its going to be hard to get people out on the streets then and as a result hard to do bad things.
I still need influence though and because theres few of them they will have to be powerful decision makers.
The best influence to have is of course political. They make the decisions and send in the bulldozers after the so called enquiry has confirmed its a bad thing I want to do. They can even sign the cheques to help me buy the bombs. So the best way to get influence is to buy it and go to the right dinners and meet the right people. Therefore I become a political donor in order to build, polute or deprive in whatever form I choose. This is relatively easy with a party system of politics because they are a team and stick together from the top down.

Hence the Cynics Wife law of politics says that

"The party system by its nature demands that we have leades who work against our wishes"

DO NOT VOTE!

Wednesday 12 March 2008

Thief me? No I forgot!

I am a really nice guy honestly I really am. I can tell you loads of people who really like me and I mean loads. I even do a good job and I mean a really good job when I am at work. I do some work for charity too. Now I know I walked out of a shop the other day with a bottle of wine without paying but I can explain. It was an oversight on my part, that's all. I am doing two jobs at the moment and I was focusing on my work rather than thinking about stopping at the till to pay for the wine. Anyway to be fair its all so bloody complicated these days what with automated tills and the like. Our time would be better spent reviewing the rules so we know who has to pay for what rather than wasting my time on this nonsense. I wasn't even sure I had to pay because I thought my wife did that. Lots of people steal from shops you know oh yes and before you start having a go at me you should realise that I am being made a scapegoat for all those other people who steal all sorts of things. Its just a witch hunt pure and simple and its all because I'm working class. Making a mountain out of a molehill that's for sure. I have agreed not to go into the shop again for at least two weeks which is punishment enough so there is obviously no reason to waste police time. To be fair I go in that wine shop all the time and see people who do a worse job than me buying much nicer wine than me. Maybe if I earned more money then it would not come to this. I am not like those politicians........ Thieving B***ards
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